Oh I'm Making Resolutions, Damn It
/Everyone’s got their own opinion about the success/failure/point of making resolutions on January first, but I am always ALL IN. With reckless ideas that have no business coming true. This year I’m gonna fly! And morph into twins! And become immortal! Immortal flying twins, you just watch!
I think this year the most important thing I’m setting my sights on is focus and effort. You know that thing where when you’re in a crisis situation, you’re super efficient, and then when the immediate crisis ends and is transitioning back into “normality” again, you lose all direction and focus?
Yeah, it me.
I was GREAT during lockdown - I ate healthy, I stayed indoors by myself, I facetimed regularly with friends, I exercised, I created art, I cleaned, I read, I made plans. But when that period ended, and we all waded into the murky waters of What Year Is It What Do I Do Now, I sort of lost momentum. Like the hesitation of making decisions (which I struggle with) was now reflected in the atmosphere of every day.
During lockdown I lost my job. It was my dream job (making comics every week) and it was hugely fulfilling and validating for three years. But when it ended, I suddenly realized I had no back up plan. No skills to fall back on. Shit. After that I spent my time stringing together whatever projects I could find and wondering if I’d ever get back to a place where I wasn’t riddled with anxiety every day of what to do next. And, of course, I turned on the one person I could beat up the easiest - me.
I don’t want this to be just about complaining. EVERYONE is dealing with this shit post-lockdown. Isolation fucked us all up. What I want is to make this the year where I stop feeling sorry for myself and mourning past projects and focus on the here, the now, and the next. What am I made of now? How can I share that with people? What can I create that’s meaningful? Who do I want to be now? January can be a cold, desolate bitch but I always appreciate the opportunity it gives us to rethink and restart.
Here are some of my resolutions for this year (beyond the evergreen classics of more exercise, less booze):
Practice responding with kindness/curiosity
Be flexible in all areas
Vocalize my feelings
Give myself time/space to process
Be kind to myself
Learn something new
Ask for help
Reach out to friends
I’d love to hear how you all are managing your fresh starts too, or if you’re already KILLING IT and just maintaining awesomeness. Happy 2023, everyone!