Hitmen Pin-Ups

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I've decided to celebrate the lovey-dovey month of February, I'm going to do a drawing of a hitman a day in my sketchbook! Each one taken from movies, tv shows, whatev's I can think of. Follow me on Instagram, Twitter, or Tumblr's to see them! Oh hell, even my Facebook page if that floats yer boat!

And if you're interested in buying a print of any of them, they'll be available for sale to my Patreon patrons! So if you'd like a print, just chip in a wee $1 a month and you can purchase one!

Up first - La Femme Nikita! The Peta Wilson version, since she was my FAVE. She did love her crazy colored glasses oh so much.

Kick-Ass Women: Noomi Rapace

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No, I've seen neither version of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo and I'm not sure I ever will. Even though I've heard loads of great things about the character of Lisbeth and Steig Larsson's trilogy in general. BUT luckily I don't have to see the original Swedish film in order to check out Noomi Rapace.

First she showed up in Game of Shadows, holding her own against scene chewing Robert Downey Jr. and the loveably scruffy Jude Law, and THEN as amazingly ripped Elizabeth Shaw in Prometheus. And though I've only seen her in two things, there's something about her cool, calm gaze that easily morphs into whatever she wants to be at that moment - serene, inquisitive, suspicious, dangerous. And with all that muscular, lithe power stored in her frame, you know there's nothing her eyes will tell you that her fists can't deliver. I can't wait to see her in more movies in general, and more action movies in particular.

And I'm not sure if this is true or not, but IMDB is telling me that one of her favorite scenes was when Patricia Arquette beat the snot out of James Gandolfini in True Romance (which I mentioned in my comic Go For The Eyes as one that particularly moved me as well). Swoon!

Click here to check out the other Kick Ass Women I've mentioned so far!

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Kick-Ass Women: Kima Greggs

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Yes, I am a Baltimorean, and no, I haven't finished watching The Wire yet. I actually started watching mid-season 4, where my boyfriend was, and then backtracked to watch season 1. Kind of unorthodox, I know - way to ruin the surprises, Monica!

Anyhoo, the moment I first saw Kima Greggs I knew she was a badass. She was wearing a suit and heels, driving around the projects in her unmarked police car, and because she thought something was up, she got out of the car and entered a drug dealer's house. Through the back door, gun drawn, by herself. BADASS. I was convinced this would be the last we'd see of her character, or we'd hear something come over the radio during another scene that would alert us to the fact she'd been shot. But no. This is KIMA. Instead, she was back at her desk, casually sitting there, having gone into that drug house without back-up and single handedly arrested the suspects. Yessss.

So now I'm slowly working my way through Season 2, and after Season 1, I know that Kima also happens to be invincible. Can't wait to see what else she gets up to through the course of the show!

And Sonja Sohn, who plays Kima, is pretty impressive herself - she opened up Re-Wired for Change, a non-profit to help kids in troubled circumstances break the cycle of violence/incarceration.

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This Warms the Cuckolds of My Heart

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The cuckolds that yearn for more kick-ass ladies onscreen ... Your dream picks for the female Expendables, courtesy of Jezebel.

Which include ...

Feel free to add your own nominations!

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Kick-Ass Women: Tyra Collette

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Nope, not Tyra Banks (though there was a time when I loved me some America's Next Top Model).

Since I've mentioned before that I'm working my way through back issues of popular shows, I'm referring to Tyra Collette from Friday Night Lights. Now, before I say anything, I have to say that I'm only part-way through Season 3, so this is purely based on what's happened to Tyra thus far. There are some spoilers below, though, for those few of you who, like me, are only now just watching this super awesome show.

I count Tyra as one of my Kick-Ass Women for three reasons:

  1. She kicked her mother's abusive boyfriend out of the house - hell, SCARED him out of the house with a fireplace poker
  2. She didn't let a rapist shame her into silence
  3. She channeled her rage into being an awesome hitter on her school's volleyball team

At the beginning of the show, Tyra was depicted as just the trashy ex-girlfriend of Tim Riggins. With some mishaps here and there, she was getting labeled as the "no good girl" that The Taylors didn't want their daughter Julie hanging out with. But when Mrs. Taylor reaches out to Tyra to give her a wake-up call on her schoolwork, we get a window into how effed up Tyra's home life is. Basically, her weak, man-crazy Mom would rather Tyra capitalize on her looks and not aim too high in her academic future. Luckily, even though Tyra loves her mom and only wants to make her happy, she struggles to do something foreign to her and start taking her classes seriously.

Tyra enlists the help of nerdy and loveable Landry as a tutor. They get along well, and she feels more comfortable studying around someone she views as so desperately nerdy that in contrast she'll still remain cool. They plan on meeting up for a study date, and then this is when the shit hits the fan.

Tyra is waiting for Landry in a cafe and strikes up a conversation with a friendly stranger. When Landry's car breaks down and he's late getting to Tyra, she gives up and starts to go home. The stranger pounces on her, drags her into his truck and attempts to rape her. This was such an unexpected and terrifying way for the story to go -- I was worried the show was trying to "pull a Mad Men" and rape (who I viewed to be) one of their strongest female characters.

Luckily Tyra gets away, and Landry arrives to help with the fallout. She's understandably shaken and terrified that the rapist will come back - and she has reason to be worried. In the episodes that follow she's stalked by the guy until he picks his moment and attacks again - while she's waiting outside a convenience store for Landry to get snacks (I'm sorry - who does that when they're worried they're being trailed by a crazy person?? Waits outside alone?). Again Tyra has to fight for her life and does as viciously as she can, and once Landry returns the two fend him off. (And by fend him off, I mean accidentally kill him. I warned of spoilers!)

This episode really shook me, I think because I viewed Tyra as such an intimidating presence. None of the boys in school wanted to mess with her, and she exuded a powerful presence beyond just her height. There are times in my life when I wonder what I'd do in such a situation - it was one of the main reasons why I wrote this comic.  So three cheers to a depiction of a strong female character fighting off her attacker - yay Tyra!

Oh, and as a sidenote - I'm so, so bummed that Adrianne Palicki got her chance to play Wonder Woman ruined by such an awful script. Boo. Can we have someone write WW for TV that wants to make it good? Please?

Past Kick-Ass Women:

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Kick-Ass Women - The Michelles

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I know this was supposed to be a WEEK of Kick-Ass Women, but I've been a little busy this week prepping for Spring Bada Bing, so I think I'm going to turn this into an ongoing series on them instead. Because, let's face it - I will never get tired of talking about them.

The next Kick-Ass Woman is actually THREE women who all impacted my view of what at a kick-ass woman could be. And they all happen to be named Michelle!

No, not Michelle Obama, even though she has charmed the entire country with her guns:

The three Michelles I want to talk about are Pfeiffer, Rodriguez, and Yeoh.

MICHELLE #1: Michelle Pfeiffer

After I saw Tim Burton's Batman, I wanted to be Vicki Vale. I don't know what it was about her I admired so much - the blond hair, the big red lips, the awkward way she handled herself around The Joker? I would draw her face over and over again, I suppose thinking I could transfer some of her power into my own body.  I couldn't see her being surpassed in my mind as a memorable female character in Batmanverse until, of course, Batman Returns rolled around.

Michelle Pfeiffer was amazing as the pitiable, weak "administrative assistant" who, at the beginning of the film, lets people walk all over her. So great, that even when she transforms into the whirligig force that is Catwoman, we don't have to squint too hard to see Selina still in there, calling the shots. Catwoman is incredibly sexy, but she wields her sexiness as an accessory. Her motivation and her appeal is her craziness, her craftiness. (After all, she did whip up her whole black vinyl outfit on her cute little pink sewing machine she had tucked away amid her stuffed animal collection.)

One of my favorite scenes is when Catwoman stops a mugger attacking a woman in a lone alleyway - the stereotypical set-up for a hero to save a damsel in distress. Catwoman instantly recognizes the opportunity for what it is, and DOES save the woman, but she also takes a dig at the woman for letting herself be vulnerable. It's an interesting parallel to her past, having been manipulated and abused at the hands of her boss, Max Shreck. Catwoman abhors the part of herself that was victimized but luckily doesn't use that as a weapon against other victims. She still has her humanity left.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lalexosgwUk]

MICHELLE #2: Michelle Rodriguez

I don't pretend to know anything about Michelle other than in her role as Anna Lucia on LOST (Although my 17-year-old cousin thinks the only movies are the Fast & The Furious movies). Anna Lucia was a damaged ex-cop who wound up amongst the unlucky pack of Tailies on the island TV show. Before the island, Anna Lucia had brought vigilante justice down on the guy who had shot her and unwittingly killed her unborn child. As soon as craziness starts happening to her little group on the island, Anna Lucia defaults into protector mode the only way she knows how -- by blurring the lines between necessary force and an excuse to shoot everything that moves. And yet, even though she lost her confidence in herself as a police officer, she's still damn good enough to recognize Goodwin for being the lying murderer that he is.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYnneXm3ppc]

I really wish they hadn't cut short her character on the show and had allowed her more time to develop. And, I also wish I looked as buff as her in a tank top.

MICHELLE #3: Michelle Yeoh

Michelle Yeoh is the only honest-to-god action star I've mentioned so far. She doesn't just play one onscreen, she IS one. She's in it, doing the action, fighting the fights, falling the falls.

I first saw her alongside Jackie in Supercop, and then in the regrettable Tomorrow Never Dies, playing probably the most competent and bad-ass of the Bond Girls in any of the movies.

But in the graceful, beautiful Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, you get to see how incredible she is in every single scene. LONG, continuous scenes that show you the range of her skills and talent and don't try to hobble it together with cuts and fancy angles.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OxQ-2gR1DU]

She's the real deal.

I'll admit it's been several years since I've seen CTHD, so I won't discuss the aspects of that particular character in terms of an action star. Michelle Yeoh is an action star that WAYYY supercedes any single role.

Those are your Michelle's for the day. Anyone else got a Michelle who's particularly bad-ass that they want to bring up?

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Kick-Ass Women - Linda Hamilton

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I consider myself to be someone heavily influenced by story. When I read something, I want to believe it. When I watch something, I feel like I still linger in that world a little bit, long after the credits role. And with characters onscreen, there's always a piece or two of them that I want to absorb.

Since I announced that this is Kick-Ass Women Week, I'm going to celebrate just a few of the female characters I consider to have been the most inspirational on me growing up. Why? Because, just like when I watched the male action heroes onscreen, I wanted to fill those shoes for a moment and be them. Without crushing fear, doubt, hesitation, or (let's face it) puny muscles. I wanted to be running, jumping, punching things. Sort of the reverse of Eddie Izzard's desire as a young lad to be an action transvestite. Instead of dressing up in feminine clothes and running around, I wanted to mimic the male counterparts, put on a tank top, show off my guns. Until I finally found some females I could drool over.

Inspiration #1 - LINDA HAMILTON

Linda Hamilton is pretty much the pinnacle of what women interested in female action heroines look up to. Although she only really existed in the form of Sarah Connor in Terminator 1 and 2, and was pretty average in Terminator 1. In Terminator 2, however, she brought it.

Terminator 2 was when Sarah Connor realized, after being tormented by a robot in the first movie, that this shit had gotten real and she was going to have to learn how to defend herself, her son, and her human race. From the MACHINES. So, naturally, she got herself locked up in a mental institution for telling the truth.

Luckily for us, being locked in a mental institution means Sarah gets to do loads and loads of chin-ups. Otherwise known as the bane of my existence when I was 11 and this movie came out. Hang on - women can DO those? And be casual about it?? After the chin-ups, Sarah treats us to some pretty sweet bad-assery as she breaks out of her cell and nearly the whole institution before her son and Arnold Schwarzenegger come along and ruin everything.

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So what if she's a little nutty, and it takes her a while to remember that her son is not old enough to be a good soldier yet? Look at those arms and look at the fear she instills in those guards. Later on in the movie she gets some guns and grenades and stuff, but this is where I fell in awe with Linda Hamilton. Just a woman, all by her lonesome, cooking up ways to be prepared for the Robot Apocalypse.

Now, don't you feel like running around barefoot and shoving people who get in your way?

How about you guys? Did Terminator 2 similarly change your life?

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